You Are My Sunshine

Im sure every single mom relates when I say.. 

I don’t remember life before being a mom.

It seems so…. empty.

or maybe free is the word I am looking for? ha.

 

Most days I COVET a moment to go to the bathroom by myself, shower AND shave my legs in one go, or eat my lunch in peace!

but those moments.. where I covet the past of so called “freedom” 

I remember the freedom I have now.

The freedom to be myself.

To stay in my pajamas until 1PM.

To talk in a weird voice,

scream at the top of my lungs,

blow bubbles in the house,

and sit in a pool of water with my clothes on..

simply because it entertains my child.

 

All Because now,

I embrace the freedom to love.

 

So many of us come from a background where we learnt to protect ourselves.

Protect ourselves from the wrath of our parents, or the lack there of.

Protect ourselves from getting hurt in relationships.

Protect ourselves from acting “weird” in a group of people we wanted to like us.

A life all about walls, and putting them up in the right places.

 

But yet, the moment you become a mom.. those walls go out the window.

Your life no longer consists of protecting yourself.. but moving mountains to protect your child.

 

 

Motherhood.

So complex.

So bizarre.

Such a journey.

But the best calling I could ever have asked for.

Grateful today, for the lack of walls I have with my son.

The innocence I see in his eyes,

and the innocence that comes out in me when we play.