One of the sayings that truly makes my skin crawl... is the age old go to:
"EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON"
I just do not believe that it is true.
My good friend asked me the other day,
"So are you at the point yet where you see that God let your birth happen to you... for The Mother's Nest?"
And then replied, "Yes."
And then thought, perfect wording. perfect wording.
I don't think that one of my best friends mom's was murdered "for a reason."
I don't think that my mom had cancer "for a reason."
I don't think that one of my teenage girls I have discipled was raped at a young age "for a reason."
And I don't think that I almost died after giving birth "for a reason."
I think... a better way of rephrasing these go to encouragements is to say:
GOD ALLOWS these things to happen.
In case you are wondering, there is nothing that is not good that is part of God.
Everything that is good comes from him.
Everything that is not good (ie. evil, rape, cancer, murder, bodies failing) comes from the fall of the world.
I SEE THIS IN MY LIFE AT THIS VERY MOMENT.
This time last year... I was in such a deep depression I almost don't remember it.
I spent my mornings crumpled over the toilet crying, wondering why I hated my life, hated being a mother, and constantly feeling like something was "wrong with me".
I felt SO utterly alone.
I believed that no one had ever gone through something like this.
I believed that I was a horrible person, and a horrible mother.
Im not necessarily "grateful" That Birth Trauma, PTSD, Post partum depression, and anxiety are parts of my story.
However, I am SO GRATEFUL that the God that I worship is SO good. He took each and every one of those situations, first allowing me to be in them, and the moment I said "Yes, God please use this for your Glory." ... blew me away.
He truly takes horrible things and makes them beautiful.
It is part of his character.
And probably the thing I love about him most.
Our God is a Redeemer.
My whole life he has been redeeming my story.
From a broken and abused little girl.
To a broken and abused teenage girl.
To a broken and damaged "mother" girl.
It never ends.
He is constantly redeeming our pain.
Constantly redeeming our stories.
Constantly willing to bring good out of the horrible as long as we allow him.
So yes, I KNOW with all of my heart.. that God allowed me to go through everything I went through with my birth, because he knew me... Because HE had greater plans for Akron. For the mother's of Akron.
For The Mother's Nest.
How could the "founder" of The Mother's Nest truly know the importance of mothering the New mom... if she didn't know the depths and lows of motherhood herself?
My question is this for you today:
Those who are in that hard place.
Those who are depressed.
Those who are mourning.
Those who are weary in doing good.
Can you open up your hands today?
Can you trust that God can take ANY horrible situation, ANY pain, ANY sin,
and bring good out of it?
Can you trust that he is YOUR redeemer?
That possibly, your story is bigger than you?
You may not understand why your husband left you,
or why your mother died,
or why you experienced abuse.
But one thing you CAN understand, and I CAN tell you,
Is that GOD IS GOOD.
He is ALWAYS good.
That does not mean it is always going to feel like it.
I didn't really FEEL like God was "good" as my insides were being pulled and pushed around after my birth.
However, one thing I know to be true, is that God is our redeemer.
This story is bigger than you.
There are many people that God can use your story to help.
He allows things to happen, because he has been "allowing" things to happen since day one of man.
But has never forgotten you.
He will never forsake you.
Open up your hands.
GIVE YOUR PAIN BACK TO HIM.
YOU ARE SAFE WITH HIM.
"And we know that in all things, God works for the good of those who love him. Who have been called according to his purpose."
Romans 8: 28