I think this is as good a time as any.. with the "change" in the air
To talk about being grounded.
No momma, not the kind where you are sent to your room alone..
Although.. the longer I ponder that, the more appealing it sounds ;)
The type of grounding that brings you back to your center.
The center of WHO YOU ARE.
The here. and the NOW.
This week I was asked, "what grounds you? What brings you back to YOU.. back to reality, back to the here and now?"
I was asked this by my counselor who is specialized in PTSD therapy.. which I suffered from after my son's birth, and still suffer from.
PTSD re-hardwires your brain into fight mode.. and causes you to constantly be anywhere but HERE. So my mind can be triggered in one moment to either be back into the hospital room birthing my son 2 years ago.. or it can be in my imaginary made up future of the worst case scenario PTSD tells me to create.
So getting back to the here and now?
I need grounded.
So yes, maybe that would be for some being alone.
But for me... its spending time with my little guy.
He is my reality. He is my now. Nothing brings me back to the present like he does.
When he was an infant, and I was in my hardest, darkest moments of my life suffering from PTSD, Post partum Depression & anxiety... I would get so scared to look him in the eye.
Why ,you ask?
Because he knew me. He had been inside of me.. in my inmost being.
He had heard my voice from the inside.
He knew the pattern of my heartbeat.
He knew my movements, what I feel like when I have anxiety laden on me, when I have fear protruding my soul.
He knew my bodies response.
So if he were to look me in the eye... I felt that could see right through me.
My son is also extremely intuitive. Discerning. Its actually quite cool. I was this way as a child, but through the years have been jaded by oh so many things... But the way he sees through people, and senses the spirit of the room, or just the spirit of people. it amazes me.
So of course... my highly sensive child... senses when I am stressed.
When I am not in the now.
and almost always demands more of me, begging me to come back to the "now"
Its like God's Safety mechanism to bring me to reality.. built into my child.
I am so grateful for that.
I come back to being grounded because He sees the real me.
He knows me... better than I know myself.
But yet, still sees the purest version of me.
Perhaps this is what it means to have "child like faith" . Faith not only abandoned and pure in Jesus... But faith abandoned and pure in others.
My son. Has taught me that.
Through the way he has faith in me.
Last week, we had a really hard time as a family, getting news that wasn't the best to hear.
A week of random hateful letters in the mail.
Hard learnings of possibilities in the future.
And we (mostly I because my husband is a natural optimist) were struggling.
In one moment I went from being in the now. to completely checking out
yeah.. he doesn't let me do that for long.
I can't check out with him.
So what better way for me to practice being "grounded" today... then to spend time with the person who knows me best. In my purest form... and grounds my very soul.
So momma, chances are.. you aren't suffering from PTSD (at least my prayer for you is that you are not)... but regardless.. as the anxiety shifts of the changing seasons, or the "whats to comes" or the kids in school... where do you find your grounding?
Is it in God or your religion?
Is it in alone time?
In time with your community?
Or seeing yourself purely in the eyes of your child?
Whatever it is. Pursue that.
"Seek peace and pursue it."