For the Mom Welcoming Her Second Child ...
A guest post by Samantha Shamrock.
Someone close to me recently learned that she is unexpectedly pregnant with her second child. Her first is only a year and a half old. To say she’s freaked is downplaying. As a mother of two, I like to tease her on how different and difficult life will be, but I thought I should set the record straight.
Yes, it's scary and exhausting, but you will be okay.
I won’t lie; I have my weekly breakdowns (more often these are daily). Just last night, I was with my family at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. The kids were driving me insane as my husband had to take years to decide which knife set to purchase. I expressed to him that I needed a minute and proceeded to find a corner in the bedding section and sat.
When you have two children (or more--praise to you mommas!) life is chaotic and messy. Ninety percent of the time, one child will be unhappy. They will fight. They will destroy things together. You will be out numbered having four little hands pulling you apart. Your heart is now split between two, doubling the uncertainty.
As a mother of two, I have discovered how much I like wine.
All I’m pointing out is negative stuff, right? When does the good come in?
- When your children are quiet, and you dread discovering what they’re up to only to reveal them pouring over a book together.
- When your children pick you a bouquet of flowers (even though it may be weeds) just because they want to make you smile.
- When big sister helps little brother in any way (this can lead to messes, but at least she tried).
- When you get double the hugs, double the kisses, double the love.
This list could go on. No matter how many breakdowns or fights, this list will always weigh more.
Parenting any number of children is hard. When transitioning from one to two, life does change. But you are their mother. You were born to do this.
You might have both a toddler and newborn that won’t sleep through the night. You might still be breastfeeding the first while pregnant with the second. Finances may be tight.
You feel overwhelmed, worried, and unprepared. How did this happen? How can I do this? You’re already crazy with one child; having two will certainly earn you a one-way ticket to the loony bin.
Questioning why and how won’t change anything and won’t make you feel better.
Again, I say, you will be okay.
You’ve survived life this far knowing that curve balls get thrown. But you’re still here. You’re still breathing. You came out stronger.
Motherhood will make you stronger.
At the end of the day, you kept multiple people alive (including yourself). You go to bed drained but knowing that you survived another day. Knowing that to two little beings you are their entire world. And that is the best feeling that money can’t buy.
That is what being a mom of two really is.