So It's almost New years. and Im having contractions.
I still have three weeks left.
But, We'll see if she stays in that long ;)
and.. its my secret (not so secret now) goal to have this child as the first baby of the new year. One for exposure for The Nest, and two... because I am psycho competitive and would like to "win" the invisible award that comes alongside having the first baby of the new year.
Regardless, I want to tell you something.
I constantly will look down at my now HUGE belly and say "who impregnated me when I wasn't looking". (okay for all the creepers, she was planned. It just feels like HOW THE HECK DID THIS HAPPEN haha)
and then I remember that it was all you crazies that keep having such darn cute babies that MADE ME DO THIS.
Okay you didn't make me. but you encouraged me.
The secret is... that you GAVE me the courage. Through seeing you become moms, love being a mom, and continue through each season of motherhood.
2016 is almost here. and trust me, I more than many am so flipping excited about this.
For one, I love new years, I love change, I love goal setting, I love resolutions, I love reflecting on the past year.
And for two... 2015 kicked my ass. Ill just say it.
So mommas, My heart tonight.. as I lay contracting, thinking about how the beginning of 2016 will consist of me entering back into newborn world, new life world, new baby world.. learning a new human world.
I join you.
I join you for 2016.
in this season. of being.
Of every moment once again being dictated (as much as we love them) by small little humans with small little hands and small little hearts .. that we love so BIG.
Of feeding, not sleeping, hormones, and oh so much more.
But of tiny fingers.
And I thank you.
Thank you mommas, for giving me hope and courage to do something I never thought that I would do again.
Have another baby.
Something I never imagined I could walk into excitedly again after my PPD, my PPA and PTSD after near death experience in the birth of my son.
Thank you for believing in The Mother's Nest, and coming to meetings, and bringing your babies so that I could get baby fever last April. haha ;)
And helping me believe in myself that I could do this again.
Thank you for telling me good story by good story so that I could erase the bad stories little by little... or at least push them to the back of my brain instead of the forefront.
Thank you mommas for giving me hope for 2016. in this new journey, with my new little girl, and the new playing field of teenagers, toddler, and infant. (anyone? anyone? haha)
Thank you for picking up my slack as I go on maternity leave to all our volunteers and staff.
Thank you for carrying the heart and vision of this organization beyond the "walls" of social media & into your homes, families and hearts.
I love you guys. You are the ONES that make me realize. I can do this, and for that I am grateful.
So happy new year.
Heres to a year of recovery, a year of new fingers & new toes in our house, new joy, new hardship, and a new season.