It's still imprinted on my mind.
"So much of the woman's journey is doing things that are unnatural for her. That, to me, is what The Proverbs 31 woman is. She does things that both come naturally, and do not come naturally. Just as my wife cried as she leaked from her breast sitting at his grave. Because she was still nursing our fourteen month old son when he died."
These words wrecked me this weekend that I experienced at The Nest's annual Christmas tea.
And the thoughts have been swirling,
"what does it mean to lean into the things that I am naturally gifted in? and the things that are down right unnatural for me..."
Magic happened this past Saturday that was so much more than a pretty tea with fancy clothes, and fancy food.
I could have never planned for it to have the effect that it did, although I know the one who did.
Months ago God put it on my heart to move in a direction with this annual event that hosts 100 women, to talk about the Proverbs 31 woman. To instill hope and identity in a group of people whom have listened to culture, other's voices for far too long.
To draw them back to their creators voice.
To their Father.
Because he's done that for me this year.
A year that started out in the pure glory and joy of bringing my daughter into this world through birth. A story that could have been like the story of my first. One filled with trauma, angst, near death, pain, sorrow. Instead... it was a story of healing, of miracle, of joy, of purity.
I say often Reyna Jean is a song over my life.
Because her life is a literal reminder of how intimately involved my Father in heaven is in my life.
That he isn't a distant God.
That he knows my inmost needs, desires, and heart.
That he has not allowed suffering in my life for no purpose.
"so much of a woman's life
is doing what feels unnatural"
Whats natural to you, may not be whats natural for me.
Natural for Jenna = working, passion, moving and shaking, change, busy, relationship, conversation, one on one time, prophetic voice.
Unnatural for Jenna = mothering my small children, homemaking, being present, being still, saying no, trusting others to do something I want to do, small moments, large groups of people.
Women naturally live our life in seasons.
Seasons of nurturing, working, living, hosting, dreaming, imparting.
Seasons of truth, struggle, perseverance, loneliness, fulfillment
I've been in a season this year of remembering what my Father's voice sounds like.
That he tells me I am enough.
That he made me the way I am on purpose.
That he didn't give me this mission for family in spite of me, but because I am me.
That he has gone before me.
That I can fully and confidently trust in him.
To listen to the one who reminds me to be bold.
To listen to the one who reminds me to call people back to who they originally are.
To listen to the one who binds up the brokenhearted.
To obey the one who sets the oppressed free from the struggles in their mind.
I was more than thrilled about our Christmas Tea on Saturday.
Not because of the amount of money we made, which we did better than any other tea we have had in the past!
BUT because of the honor and dignity that was placed back onto us as women this day.
By our speakers who all five brought to light how utterly different they were created.
But that they were created on purpose.
And they were supposed to live in that specific purpose.
Healing happened and started on this day.
A day of reminding ourselves that we were on purpose.
Do you know who's voice that really was on Saturday?
Not just the voice of Judge Todd McKinney as he prayed, or the voices of the other AMAZING women who spoke.... but the voice of our Father himself through them.
I don't know if you are in a season of Natural or Unnatural.
Regardless, take heart dear one.
I've been in both.
And he is in BOTH.